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October is national Anti- bullying month. It is becoming more and more a part of my awareness what a problem bullying is. We see it in news stories of young kids and teens being harassed by their peers to the point where they want to and in some cases do take their own lives. How is it possible that this is the world that are children are growing up in that the idea of dying is more pleasant than going to school and dealing with these bullies.
Not only that but the bullies are getting in our homes. They are torturing our children on cell phones through text messages and on our computers through Facebook and twitter. They have made it so there is no escape. Right now my daughter is only six and we have just begun to deal with bullies. There is a boy in her class that I wrote about in another post and he has now hit her in the stomach. We have emailed the teacher about how the situation is going to be handled on the schools end because I can tell that the two instances with this boy have left her feeling fearful of going to school. I will do anything and everything in my power to make her feel safe going to school and if the teacher can’t help than I will keep going up the latter at that school till I can find a way to make her safe when I can’t be with her. I’m pretty thick skinned and although things people have done or said have hurt my feelings in my life, of course they have I’m human, there have been very few instances where I felt bullied. I also am pretty secure in who I am, the good and the bad and try not to let what others say and do have too much of an effect on me.
I’m trying to instill confidence in my daughter to give praise to all the wonderful things about her, how pretty, smart funny, loving she is, so that when the attacks from her peers turn personal and emotional she will have confidence and feel so good about herself that it won’t affect her as deeply try to not complain about myself very much in front of her so that she doesn’t have to carry my insecurities as well.
I feel if we want to stop having girls be so insecure and body obsessed than we as mother have to quit modeling body obsessive behavior and putting down our bodies and ourselves in front of them. My body is not close to perfect but she is six and she doesn’t need to hear about it and learn to hate her own body.
My wish for her is that she will grow up knowing that she is beautiful and amazing and that no matter what she is loved and adored by so many and that I would go down fighting to protect her and being confident enough to stand up for herself because as much as I want to I can’t fight all her battles. Let’s stop bullying in this country and start raising children who believe in themselves and don’t feel so bad about their own lives that they have to try and hurt others.
My five tips to prevent bullying
1. Model good behavior; treat others and yourself in a positive and kind way.
2. Keep lines of communication open with your child so they feel safe coming to you if they are being bullied
3. Encourage kids to do what they love, sports, hobbies, groups will give children confidence and a chance to interact with other kids with the same interests.
4. Talk with your child about bullying so they understand what it is and that it isn’t ok when they are treated that way.
5. Be your child’s advocate, if your child is being bullied talk to their teacher and try to work on a solution, if that doesn’t solve the problem try someone else at the school. Stand up for your child.
Unfortunately it’s not just children who face bullies, we as adults get bullied as well. Celebrities and those in the public eye get criticized all the time about their weight, appearance, opinions and so forth. Here one woman fights back. It’s a video worth watching