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My world has been full of drama the last few days so I’m starting there. My major issue is that I’m sensitive and always have been for as long as I can remember. Then on top of that, one of the major areas of my brain damaged is the area that controls emotion and anxiety. This causes me to take a situation that in the past would have hurt my feelings and to now become completely enraged and consumed by it to the point where I make myself sick and could potentially cause a seizure.
Unfortunate for me people suck and they say crappy things. So I have had to learn to protect myself at any and all cost. I can’t control others but I can put up boundaries to protect myself.
Step one: talk to the person and explain that I can’t handle the added stress of their drama and meanness.
Step two: reduce time spent with them or only interact under situations where I have the ability to leave or people that I feel safe with are also around. When you have tried all options step three may need to be applied.
This is the case right now. I have always had a difficult relationship with my younger sister. We are very different people and struggle to get along. Over the years we have fought. I am sensitive she seems to have no filter. I have tried to talk with her numerous times about this with no success. I have explained the risks to my health by us fighting and that still got me no where.
This weekend it got bad. She doesn’t even live in the same state but she facebooked me all this BS attacking me as a mom, which is her favorite way to attack me. She threatened calling child protective services even though she hasn’t seen me in a year and not one other person in my life thinks she has any reason to do that. She likes to threaten it because it hurts and upsets me.
I have always tried to maintain a relationship with her because of our children but I think at a certain point I have to do what is necessary to protect me and my family. I’d rather my daughter and her children have me alive and healthy then allow her to continue to put my health in jeopardy for a relationship with them. Even though it hurts to lose out on the kids. There are limits.
That is what I want to share today with you. If there are toxic people in your life, whomever they might be really ask yourself if continuing the relationship is worth the pain. That has to be your choice but in my case it no longer was. Whether or not I ever resume a relationship with her is unknown but I have to value myself enough to know that I was never going to get anything positive from that relationship and it was time to end it. I have set a goal of no contact for at least three months. I have blocked her from my Facebook and I will screen any phone calls coming in. In learning to take care of me and of yourself you have to be able to let go of what hurts you and not waste your time and energy on things that bring you pain.
I’m not saying that every bad person or person who brings you pain to cut off ties with but you are in control of the drama and the people yo let into your life. In friendships, romantic relationships and with family I think it’s important that we d on’t settle for something that hurts you. Surround yourself with positive people and people who will be there for you.
So this weeks theme was because I needed to focus on this part of me and I know others have been there before. Have you had to let go of a particularly toxic person in your life before?