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Dear daughter 10 things I want you to know

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Last Updated on January 27, 2021 by karissa ancell

Parenting girls is all I know at this point. I have one daughter so I don’t know about parenting boys. If I have a son in the future I will have a different list of things to tell him I’m sure. For now though it’s all about parenting girls.  

 
My dear sweet Isabella,
 In a week it’s your birthday and you will be six. I feel like between the time I had you and know there have been so many things I have learned about life that I hope to teach you as you grow up. I wrote this when you were almost six and now you are almost nine. These things are still true though. I just hope I teach you these ten things over your lifetime. 
 
1.       Just because I lived my life a certain way does not mean you have to do the same. Our family has a routine of marrying young and having children young. I thought this was the way it was supposed to be and although I don’t regret getting married and having you I’m just aware now that I know so much more now than I did then.  Take your time, there are no rules.
 
2.       Live in the now. You can’t change what’s happened in your past, though I try my hardest and don’t try to live always for the future. I believe in slowing down to the now. I’m working on the past thing but I’m not someone who is always going, going, going because I’m happier if I focus on the now.
 
3.       You can’t change people. This goes for family friends and boys. Don’t waste your time sweetheart. If you can’t handle people the way they are and accept them let them go.
 
Parenting daughters
 
4.       Find your passion, whatever it is, I really don’t care but just find it and figure out how to be good at it. You will be happier in life if you love what you do.
 
5.       Life has no road map. Don’t listen to people who think you should know what you want to do with your life by a certain age or be settled down by a certain time. Figure out what makes you happy and if it takes you a little longer than other people, oh well.
 
 
6.       There will always be negative people in the world, this goes back to #3, you can’t change them so do your best not to listen. It’s hard and I still have to work on this myself.
 
 
7.       Realize your priorities don’t have to be like everyone else’s. I need to sleep or my body feels more stroke and seizure symptoms. This bothers some people, who feel like I should get up earlier and make better use of my time. Sleep has to be a high priority on my list and I’m sure there are things on other people’s list I would move around.
 
 
8.       Figure out your beliefs and stick to them, there will be pressure sometimes from peers but stay strong. I hope to raise you with good morals and I’m sure we will disagree on some things but I hope you will be a good person.
 
#aglimmerofmckayla
 
 
9.       Know your worth. You are amazing and I will do everything in my power to help you grow up believing that. Too many young girls don’t seem to get that message and try to find their worth in boys, drugs, alcohol and I want better for you.
 
 
10.   Be honest. It’s just easier when you don’t lie. Be who you are and don’t feel the need to hide it or apologize for it.
 
Love, Your mom.

 

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Comments

  12. Jhanis says

    What a wonderful post. I also have a daughter and I would want her to know all of these things especially number 7. 🙂

    Dropping by from SITS!

    Reply

  13. Mo at Mocadeaux says

    Happy SITS Day!
    Your list is perfect. I think #9 sums it up – girls need to have the confidence to be their own, wonderful selves, worthy of love and respect and capable of great things. Your daughter is lucky because you are reminding her of this early (and often, I’m sure!). Hopefully she will internalize your list and it will help her to sail through the challenges of life.

    Reply

  15. Kelly says

    Beautiful post. So important to write these things done now so YOU can remember them later. Great advice for your daughter and yourself.

    Reply

  16. ReneeJay says

    Great advice for women and girls everywhere. I know my adult life could have been so much easier if I had listened my mother’s advice. For some reason every generation believes things will be different for them than they were for their parents; and teens in every generation respond the same way, “Oh, mom, that was in your day.” They don’t realize that generations come and go but some things hold true throughout the ages. Continue to reinforces these wise words to your daughter and maintain your close relationship and I’m sure she will grow up to be a wonderful young lady.

    Reply

  18. The Roving Retorter says

    By the time she hits a certain age, you should consider reading this list aloud to her on each of her birthdays. I’m considering reading this list aloud TO MYSELF on each of my birthdays. Everything’s in there.

    Reply

  20. Karma says

    WOAH! I needed to read these words today more than you know. After abuse, rebuilding my life and recovering at the same time has been a struggle on my good days. I can’t always tell myself what I need to hear, but, everything in this post is what I believe deep down! Thank you for spending the time to do this for all of us out there that need it! I will share this with other abused women I am helping today as well! xoxo

    Reply

  22. Seana Turner says

    Love this list! As a mother of two daughters, especially #9. My mantra is always “row downstream”… we are on the same page. Bless you and your beautiful daughter! (stopping by from SITS)

    Reply

  28. Nicole Nenninger says

    I need to write a letter like this! You can tell you’ve put a lot of thought and love into this–what a wonderful gift to give to your daughter. Even if she doesn’t read it, you’ll be guiding her life by it anyway. I recently took out a couple books from the library called “Ten Talks…” (by Pepper Schwartz) and they are picture and statement prompts about character and values to discuss with your children. I would find it hard to sit down with them with a picture and then discuss what’s on the page. Your way–the letter–I think seems more reasonable. Either way, I think it’s important to discuss with your child the importance of living by values–respect, honesty, commitment, etc.

    Reply

  37. Kathy Penney says

    I have a daughter too (8months) and I look at her and there are so many things I want to tell her so she doesn’t have to learn the hard way as I did and to feel comfortable in her own skin and know her worth sooner than I did. You’ve inspired me to do so! Kathy Penney @ Pinner Takes All

    Reply

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