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Last Updated on June 25, 2016 by karissa ancell
I don’t tend to handle change well. I think it’s always been that way but in the last few years, I’ve really begun to crave stability and knowing what to expect. So change is hard and scary but because nothing in life is guaranteed to stay the same ant that change will happen. So here are some ways to get through a big life change.
I’ve learned I have to deal and figure out how to make things work and get through any changes that come my way. Right now we are in a big change. For the past ten years, my husband Blake has had the same job. He has been looking for a new one and next week he starts a new job.
I’m excited he gets to start a new job that he will hopefully enjoy a lot. I know there are a lot of benefits and positives to this new job and this change is for the best. I’m still struggling though to stay calm and deal with the fact that there will be some period of transition for the next couple of months. As we adjust to new pay days and a new schedule. As Blake meets his new co-workers and begins to settle into a new routine and a new normal.
I went through a lot of therapy to help me cope after my stroke on how to adjust to my new life and now I’m calling back on what I learned through those sessions to help me deal with this new change and upheaval.
1. Focus on the positives
This is a new and fun opportunity and it can end up being a great change and wonderful beginning for my family. I need to remember to focus on all of that when I’m feeling overwhelmed. When I’m scared of the changes that are happening I need to stay positive.
Even when you are going through a really hard or negative change try to focus on what you can find that is positive. Trust me I know it’s hard. I’ve been through some really negative and bad times but I have found it helps to try and focus on what is good in my life. Even the small things.
Even the small things. I have found when you think about the positive your mood and attitude about the whole situation improves. So get into the habit of focusing on a positive for every negative that comes to mind.
Control what you can control
There will be a lot in life that you can’t control which is a challenge. So when faced with a big change I have found it helpful. To try and focus on what I can control. Remember that you can control how you feel and react. As well as if there are things happening outside of your home or environment you can focus on home.
I know that during this period of Blake starting his new job I will be spending more time to get things the way I want them at home. I can take back some of my control by having more control of my home space.
Take what you can’t control one step at a time.
When there is a part of the change that is out of your control pause and take a breath. Then start to handle it one step at a time. Things will feel big and overwhelming but I have learned that everything is figureoutable in life. So stop and break things down and figure out how to make it work.
You might not be able to make things perfect or do them exactly as you envision but you will be able to find a way to make it work and to solve whatever problem comes in your way. Be patient with the situation and yourself and come up with a plan and solution.
Ask for help and lean on others.
It’s not always the easiest thing to do but I have learned that in life the people you love want to help you. So when you need it ask them. Maybe you need help with moving or using a truck to move. Ask someone who can help. Do you need help with your kids getting to places when you’re not able to take them?
Then when you are able to and you see that your friends or family need your help be there for them. That way when you need it again they will remember your kindness and want to be there for you.
Life can be hard and a challenge and doing it alone isn’t necessary. We need people around us to help support and encourage us, especially during times of challenge and change.
Related Post: How to learn to ask for help and why you must
Try and remember that this time will pass and things will become normal again
I am confident that in a month or two from now things will feel normal again even if it is a new normal. My family will have adjusted to Blake’s new schedule, we will figure out how to make things work. The budget will get worked out with new pay days and things will settle into a new pattern.
Life has changed before and thrown us bigger curve balls than this and we made it through. So I’m trying to remember that and stay calm till things get settled. So when your life feels chaotic and you are overwhelmed by the change think to the future and how things will soon feel right again and make sense.
So I hope that when life throws change and challenges your way. That you will find these ways to get through a big life change to be helpful. That you know that it is possible to make it through the change and that it might even be better than you imagined.
I know that in life we can all feel lonely and like no one understands what we are going through. It’s not true though most of us have been there before but not everyone talks about it. I hope that by being open with my readers and creating posts like this one that I can help someone not feel as alone and overwhelmed.